Hormones
by Melinda Coulson
Summary: With his wife five months pregnant, Phil is forced to deal with the consequences brought on by her hormones.


**A/N:** So this is my contribution to the Two Blue Lines Challenge on Tumblr. This was a blast to write! I read over it two or three times for editing, but somethings fall through the cracks so I apologize for any mistakes.

Anyways, please

Enjoy~

* * *

There were many words that Phil Coulson could use to describe his beautiful wife, Melinda May - beautiful being an obvious one. However, he could also call her patient, stern, funny, quiet, kickass, thoughtful, protective, a prankster, sexy. Oh yes, she was _definitely_ sexy. But one word he never thought he'd use to describe her was emotional.

Yes, he was well aware that she had emotions. He's held her while she cried in the past, most often whenever the subject of Bahrain ever emerged. He's also heard her rant and yell in a fit of unadulterated anger - that one was usually his fault. Hell, one time he took a punch because her mom called and really irritated her. And that wasn't even the worst of them all.

But the biggest difference between her usual bouts of emotional release and the present is the time lapses in between. Most of his experiences with May and any time her emotions broke through her usually hard exterior had been far and few in between. He could probably count all of them, starting in their academy days, on his hands and feet and still have some toes left over.

Maybe the baby didn't like that.

May was now in her fifth month of pregnancy and her hormones were driving both of them crazy. At first, Phil thought they were going to be lucky. The moment May told him that they had a little one baking in the oven, he picked up several books pertaining to childcare, pregnancy and parenthood. He had read that, for many women, a drastic change in mood due to hormonal release occurred in the first trimester. In fact, for some women it started the moment they get pregnant and before they even knew about it. So naturally, after the first three months passed without any incidents, Phil thought they were in the clear.

He couldn't be any more wrong.

It was like on the morning of her fifth month, all of the hormones attacked May in a single burst and she hasn't been the same since. She got irritated at the smallest of things, yelled at everyone for everything, and cried randomly throughout the day.

Yesterday, Skye accidentally used the last bag of herbal tea and May had burst into tears. The poor hacker had not expected such a display from her S.O./pseudo mom and ran to Phil's office in a panic. He went to the kitchen and found her hysterically crying over a half eaten box of chocolate. It took ten minutes, and three cookies, before May was finally able to recompose herself.

Just two hours later, someone dropped a mug - one that had no affiliation with May whatsoever - and she gave the poor offending agent a half hour lecture about being careful and how that might be the difference between life and death in the field. Then May went to his office and began talking about budgets and how they couldn't afford mishaps like this on a regular basis and 'why isn't there any chocolate ice cream left in the freezer?!'

Needless to say, everyone on the base was now actively avoiding any unfortunate run ins with her. Even Phil was finding more excuses to lock himself in his office and work-Wait. Maybe this was all an elaborate plan to make sure he got his work done… No! She wouldn't do that. May was much more direct and could instill the fear of celibacy in him.

The only person who wasn't avoiding May was Skye. She was constantly tending to May's needs and making sure she was comfortable despite the risk of verbal - and sometimes physical - abuse. But Phil had a suspicion that their young agent was also enjoying the flipside of May's mood swings: her maternal doting.

She'd lecture or scold Skye and give her random chores, but would also reward her with praise and nods of approval. Phil had a feeling that Skye was willing to put up with the occasional scare because she liked the feeling of having a mother - both good and bad parts of her.

Phil, on the other hand, was not that committed. Don't get him wrong, he loved his wife. He has loved her for years-decades even. He was willing to support her through everything and anything; he'd take a bullet for her in a heartbeat. But the man needed a break. After bearing the full brunt of her mood swings for two weeks, he needed to step away and take a breather.

That's what landed him in his current position. He was in his office and at his desk at 10 o'clock at night finishing off the last of his paperwork - small upside to his avoidance, he really _did_ get his work done. He was just waiting for May to fall asleep - she always went to bed between 10:30 and 11:00. Then he'd sneak into their room and cuddle up with her for the night. In the morning, he'd usually touch base with her, make her breakfast and then he'd hide in his office while she observed Skye's independent training. It was a really good routine.

Just as he finished going over his last file, he saw someone come in from the corner of his eye. He was about to look up and acknowledge whoever it was when he was suddenly spun around and a pair of very soft, very familiar lips were pressed against his.

It took him a moment to react, but when he realized who had surprised him with this pleasantry, he immediately dropped the file onto the desk behind him and wrapped his arms around his wife. She moaned as they deepened their kiss and he felt her straddle his hips.

After a very long - and very satisfying - make-out session, they pulled away needing to breathe. Phil looked at May dazed and found her looking back at him hungrily.

He would _definitely_ describe her as sexy.

Without any further warning, May grabbed Phil's tie and pulled him from his chair. He followed her willingly and couldn't help the googly eyes that settled on his face. May led him to the couch in his office and pushed him down with just two fingers. Phil fell easily and his hands settled on her waist. Then May placed her knees on either side of him and recreated their previous position at his desk.

"And to what do I owe this pleasant surprise?" Phil asked as May kissed and sucked his neck.

"I have been wanting you, all day, Phil Coulson, and I am tired of waiting," May replied and he could tell from the strain in her voice that her patience was up.

"I'm sorry, dear," he said as he began assaulting her neck and making his way down to her chest, "let me apologize. At length."

A moan escaped May's lips as Phil sucked on the sensitive spot at the base of her neck near her collarbone. She grounded her hips into his as he continued with his apology and her moans only increasing in frequency and volume.

"Oh god Phil," she exclaimed when he began kissing the top of her breasts. "I've been wanting you so badly for the last five months." she confessed, "My hormones have been driving me _crazy_ and- _oh god_! Phil. I _need_ you."

Phil pulled back to take in the sight of his wife. The baby bump was getting a bit more noticeable, but not by much under her loose shirt. Her hair was a mess from him playing with it, her lips were swollen, her eyes were barely open but he could see how dilated her pupils were, and he notice an increase in her cup size.

After a moment, he saw a small smile settle on her lips and he grinned back at her. This entire time, she hadn't stopped grinding her hips into his and he was finding it harder and harder to focus. He brought her face back down for another searing kiss and he felt her hands immediately fly down to rid him of his belt.

Maybe the hormones weren't so bad after all.


End file.
